Two Sided Romance
by the story of a girl
Summary: AdDek. She's suffering, but he hardly even notices. What are the consequences..?COMPLETE APRIL 25
1. Chapters 1&2

**Two Sided Romance **

_Sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention. There are two sides to every story. _

_- _Addison Montgomery Shepherd

**Prologue **

Sleep: a natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body. A relatively simple and natural process for most, but for Addison Montgomery Shepherd, sleep had become a foreign concept. This wasn't just because of the ridiculous hours which come with working as one of the top doctors in one of the top hospitals. No, Addison had actually developed a mild case of insomnia. But for someone so overworked and exhausted, she viewed herself as a medical marvel.

Throughout the day, Addison focused all her time and energy on her patients. Whether she was bringing new lives into the world, or desperately trying to save others, the redhead had very few moments to herself. It seemed as if the only time she had to concentrate on her own life was during the night. Addison, of course, knew the importance of sleep and tried to get at least a few hours in every night. But as soon as she closed her eyes it seemed as if hundreds of thoughts instantly swarmed her mind. It was actually quite frightening, and so she would keep her eyes open in order to slow down her own thoughts, her only satisfaction being that she got to watch her husband sleep. Addison Montgomery Shepherd, "the best of the best" by day, had become the "exhausted romantic" by nightfall.

**Chapter 1**

The time was exactly 5:14 a.m., as Addison grumbled and slowly opened her tired eyes. She always woke up exactly one minute before her alarm went off. Never earlier, never later. She actually didn't know why she even set an alarm considering she had never heard it ring. Addison had only been asleep for about two hours, but had become accustomed to working effectively with little to no sleep.

She sat up, rubbing her eyes and assessing her surroundings. Of course nothing had changed over the course of a couple hours, but every morning she woke up hoping that something would be different. Even just the smallest detail that most wouldn't even notice. She just wanted something to change. Unfortunately everything appeared to have stayed the same once again.

The redhead turned to her left, gently nudging her sleeping husband. "Derek…" she whispered. "Come on, we have to get up." No response. She sighed, raising her voice slightly, "Derek…"

"Mm…five more minutes" he mumbled.

Addison rolled her eyes, leaning in close to Derek. "Okay, I'm only going to say this once so listen closely okay?"

"Mmhmm…"

"CODE BLUE." she shouted.

Derek instantly rose out of bed "What? Who…where…wh-" he was quite disoriented. Addison smiled, deriving pleasure from the confusion she just caused.

"Good morning." she chimed in.

Derek squinted. "You're a terrible person, you know that right?"

"I've heard rumors."

The two slowly emerged out of bed, heading to the makeshift kitchen of their makeshift home. Addison put up a cup of coffee, noticing Derek heading toward the door. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"…I'm taking the dog out like I do every morning." Derek replied, somewhat annoyed. "Is there a problem?"

"No, just everyday it seems like you're disappearing for longer and longer." She was not accusing him, just stating the facts.

Derek turned around to face his wife. "What are you trying to say, exactly?" He did not enjoy being accused of anything, and he refused to take it from his wife.

"Nothing" she shrugged, "it's just when you take the dog out at night you're only gone for a few minutes and I-"

"So you think I use the dog as an excuse to go meet up with my girlfriends at 5:30 in the morning?" The frustration in his tone was on the rise.

"I never said that, Derek."

"You didn't have to."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you…." her voice softened. "We were doing good."

But Derek did not even respond, nor did he bother looking her way. He took what he claimed as _his _McDog out of _his _McTrailer and did in fact go on to have his morning walk with _his favorite _McIntern.

**Chapter 2**

Addison managed to get ready and eat a light breakfast within a half hour. She made sure to be out of the trailer and on her way to work by the time Derek returned from his morning walk. She knew that nothing would be resolved between her and her husband until at least the mid afternoon, so she wanted to try and keep her mind as clear as possible for the time being.

The redhead had a difficult day ahead of her. Helen Boyd, her most recent patient, had a very complicated surgery scheduled for that morning. She had developed a serious complication in the end of the first trimester of her pregnancy which posed a risk to both mother and child if left untreated. Regardless, Addison had one of the strongest records for this specific surgery, which was precisely why the couple chose Seattle Grace.

"Good morning, Mrs. Boyd." Addison entered her patient's room, flipping carelessly through her chart.

"Morning." the patient answered back, her anxiety obvious.

Addison glanced up. "In about ten minutes I'll be taking you down to the pre-op and we'll get you started."

"Okay."

"Do you have any questions, concerns, anything before we go in?"

"Dr. Shepherd…" she paused "Is my baby….is he going to die?" Helen Boyd's words were soft, but serious.

"We're going to do everything we can to prevent that. I have a very strong record with this surgery, but I can't guarantee anything." she replied softly.

Mrs. Boyd simply nodded, as a few tears trickled down her left cheek.

"Your baby's going to be fine, Mrs. Boyd." she reassured, contradicting her previous statement. "He'll be fine."

About a half hour later Addison and a few other surgeons, including Izzie Stevens, began to operate. Everything was going relatively smoothly until the surgery began getting more complex. It was at this point that Addison found it harder and harder to focus. She knew what she was doing, but just had a hard time keeping her mind straight. She was not caught up with Derek or anyone else, she was just overtired. Addison had been experiencing difficulty focusing over the past month or so, but it had rarely effected the outcome on any of her surgeries or various procedures.

An hour and twenty minutes into the surgery, everything started going downhill. The surgeons did everything in their power to keep both mother and child alive, but could only save one. Fortunately, the one who survived the surgery was Helen Boyd. Although she had performed an extremely complicated surgery, Addison still felt as if she could have saved the child had she gotten more sleep.


	2. Chapters 3&4

thanks so much for all the feedback so far! i really appreciate it :)

yay for otherAdDeks! ;) anyway...here's chaps 3&4...I won't always be combining chapters like this...I just feel like they'd be too short to stand on their own for now.

**Chapter 3**

An hour or so after Helen Boyd awoke from surgery, Addison and Izzie entered the recovery room to break the news about her unborn child. Both Mr. and Mrs. Boyd were together at this point.

"How are you feeling?" Addison asked gently.

"Okay, I can't-" the patient tried shift her weight onto her left side.

"Don't try to move just yet. You're going to be a little sore."

"Am I…is he…" she didn't make much sense at this point, but Addison knew who her patient was referring to. She had a feeling that Mr. Boyd was already aware of his son's fate, but chose to keep his wife in the dark.

"I'm very sorry, Mrs. Boyd, and I really don't know how to tell you this but…" Addison paused, "We couldn't save your baby."

"What?" she seemed shocked.

"It was worse than we had expected, and if we didn't let the baby go, you may not have-"

"But you told me he would be okay." Helen interrupted. "You just killed him anyway?" her words were incredibly harsh, which of course was to be expected.

"I wouldn't put it that way. You could have died, Mrs. Boyd." Addison had been reprimanded by patients plenty of times, but it still hurt.

"You said you were the best." Helen spoke again. "I was told that there was no one better than you."

"Helen…" Mr. Boyd attempted to calm his wife down, though he knew it was no use.

Izzie, who had been standing in the back felt herself getting more and more frustrated with each passing second. Although she was not too fond of Addison, she knew that she was an excellent surgeon and did not deserve the treatment which she was receiving. "Even the best surgeons can't save everyone. You have to understand that."

"Stevens, please..." Addison did not want the intern getting involved in what she viewed as a lawsuit waiting to happen.

"Four years to get pregnant. That's how long it took us. Four years. And you killed my baby. You KILLED him!" Helen raised her voice as loud as she could possibly go before starting to cry.

An awkward silence encompassed the small room. "Dr. Shepherd…" Izzie broke the silence.

"I'll be back to check on you later. Once again, I am deeply sorry." And with that, Addison whirled around, leaving the room as quickly as possible.

The redhead brushed past everything and everyone in the hallway, taking the term 'power walking' to a new level. As terrible as it was, she actually wished that she had just let her patient die. She hated being treated with such disrespect, nor did she deserve it. Everyone respected her when she was in New York. Her life was there. She truly believed that no one in Seattle appreciated her talent, even though this was far from the truth. All she wanted to do was go home. Not go to her trailer…but to her actual home.

Addison finally came to a halt once she reached the nursery. She leaned in toward the glass, looking straight ahead toward the incubators which were lined up in front of her. She noticed an empty incubator on the left-hand corner and could not help but envision the baby that she lost sleeping soundly in the space. She shook her head, looking down as she tried to catch her breath. She concentrated heavily on breathing, because if she lost control, there was no doubt in her mind that she would break into tears. Addison closed her eyes and started to count backwards from 50.

"You did everything you could…" she had reached 33 when she heard Izzie's voice nearby. Addison opened her eyes, glancing to her right to see the young intern. Izzie did not look overwhelmingly concerned about her superior…she was just being honest. "Neither one of them would have survived if not for you." she added quietly before quickly turning away.

Addison did not respond, nor did she completely process the blonde's words. She closed her eyes again, desperately attempting to gain composure but losing her grip with each passing second. Her breath became unsteady as she gripped the small ledge she had been leaning on. She felt a single tear trail down her face and instantly wiped it away. _You are Addison Montgomery Shepherd_ she told herself. _You do not cry when a patient yells at you. You're stronger than that. You're stronger. _But she was not just crying because of her patient, and she knew that. It took a lot more than a few harsh words to break her down. It was everything piled up. Her lack of sleep, her crumbling relationship…everything. She soon felt as if she were going to lose herself completely, and could only wish herself far from Seattle Grace. Yet, rather than running, she simply stood against the wall in quiet desperation that her anguish would soon pass.

**Chapter 4**

Derek and Dr. Miranda Bailey were doing rounds throughout the hospital when they passed by the nursery. Derek immediately noticed his wife standing by the window simply by her hair color. He could not tell that anything was wrong from behind, so he continued passing by.

"Hello, Addison." He said rather coldly. Addison, however, did not respond or even look in his direction. "What, so you won't even talk to me now?" He carried on, assuming that his wife had been purposely avoiding him. He propped himself up next to her, fully prepared to argue. But as soon as he got a good look at her face his expression immediately softened and all the anger that he had felt just seconds earlier seemed to disappear.

"I don't plan on standing around being your third wheel all day, Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Bailey interrupted.

"Can you cover for me?" Derek asked, leaving Addison for a moment.

"Excuse me?"

"Just for a little while…" he seemed agitated .

"You know you look pathetic when you plead." she paused, "I've got you covered for now. But don't expect any favors in the near future."

"Thank you." Derek rolled his eyes as he turned back to be with his wife. He strained his neck a bit, trying to get a better look at her, but she kept turning away to avoid his glance. "Addie…" he began, "what's wrong?"

No response once again. Addison felt ashamed and a bit embarrassed as well.

"Come on." He delicately wrapped one arm around his wife, leading her to a relatively desolate corridor of Seattle Grace. He knew that if he had any hopes of getting Addison to actually speak to him, that he would need to get her out of the public eye. "Talk to me." He spoke gently.

"I-" Addison's voice cracked with her first word, but she struggled to continue anyway.

"It's okay, just take it slow." He felt her body trembling slightly as he drew himself in closer to her. He cupped her face, seeing if he could force some form of eye contact.

Addison glanced up at her husband. She had been able to control her emotions relatively well for a while, but seeing Derek's eyes full of pity had become too much. Her strength came crashing down as she began to speak once again. "I'm just - I'm hav-" her words were all broken as tears began to flow freely down her face. "I'm having a bad day, that's all. It's really not…it's not a big deal." she managed to mutter through her tears.

"Okay, okay, shhh…" Derek took his wife in his arms, allowing himself to actually hold her for the first time in ages. He tried every trick he knew to somehow soothe her. Unfortunately, he did not actually know how he was supposed to comfort Addison. In fact, he could not even think of the last time he held her as she cried. He realized just then that he truly had been absent…that maybe if he had just taken 20 minutes out of his day to listen to his wife back in New York things would have worked out differently.

Addison's body tensed as she desperately tried to stop herself from shaking. Her breath was also getting increasingly uneven.

"Addie, you need to slow down." Derek attempted to get through to her, though he knew it was useless. "Can you try and breathe for me?" He spoke to her as if she were his patient, something that he certainly was not used to.

The redhead tried to obey her husband's request, but was unsuccessful.

"Shh, deep breaths in and out." he coaxed, all the while brushing a few stray hairs away from her face. "In and out…" he repeated until eventually her breathing began to slow down and she was no longer gasping every few seconds. "There you go." He leaned Addison's limp body against his, never once letting go of her. He rested his head on top of hers and closed his eyes, waiting patiently for her tears to subside.

Within about ten minutes or so, Addison had in fact calmed down a great deal. Every now and then a few tears would escape, but Derek figured that it was an appropriate time to try and talk to her. He slowly eased her body off of his, looking directly at her. However, Addison felt the need to look away…still ashamed to look her husband in the eye even after all the two had just been through.

"Not such a tough guy after all, are you." He broke the silence with a bit of humor.

Addison cracked a smile, appreciating her husband's lame attempt at a joke. "Shutup." she replied lightly.

Derek smiled, planting a small kiss on his wife's forehead. "Do you want to tell me what happened today?" he asked on a more serious note.

"Nothing, really. I just…" she tried to focus her mind "…the Boyd surgery didn't go very well." she responded.

"You lost the kid?" The desensitization which comes along with being a doctor was ridiculously obvious from his tone.

"Yes, Derek. Thank you."

"I don't mean to sound like I don't care, because I do. But you've lost tons of patients over the years, Addison."

"You really know how to make a girl feel better, don't you?"

"What I mean is that there's no way that's the only thing that's bothering you."

Addison shrugged, looking the other way. "I'm okay. I am. I just…I haven't really slept-"…but before she could finish her sentence, Derek's pager began beeping.

"Damnit" he looked down, "I have to take this, I'm sorry."

"No, no. Go ahead." She understood very well that Derek needed to respond to his pager call.

"We'll talk about this later okay?" He said, quickly getting up.

"Mhm." Addison simply nodded, even though she knew that they would not be talking about anything 'later'.

"Hey" he looked down at his wife one last time, "you're okay."


	3. Chapter 5

thank you again for the feedback so far. you're wonderful. :)

pretty small update, I'll have more posted soon!

**Chapter 5**

Addison eventually recovered from her "episode", as she liked to call it, and was ready to get back to work. Having a bad day did not give her an excuse to forget about her top priority: her patients. She slowly eased herself off the floor, feeling a bit dizzy as she stood up. She was both emotionally and physically exhausted, but still had a full day of work ahead of her.

She managed to make her way down the hall, and caught a glimpse of her reflection in one of the windows. "Oh…nice. Very nice." She mumbled sarcastically.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd?" George O'Malley called from behind. Addison pretended not to hear him, but it was no use. "Dr. Shepherd!" he ran to catch up with her.

"Can I help you, Dr. O'Malley?" Addison whirled around to face the young intern. She noticed his expression change as he saw her face. "What. Is there something on my face?"

"Oh…uh….well, no. I mean, maybe." It was obvious that George was very anxious. He always seemed to be anxious around her though, so this was nothing new.

"Listen O'Malley. Sometimes women have nervous breakdowns. It's what we do." she stared him down, knowing it would scare the poor kid. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, sir. I mean m'am. I mean," he shook his head, "one of your patients has been asking for you." he finally addressed the point.

"Do you know the patient's name…" she had very little patience.

"Oh, right." George quickly responded with the patient's name and room number. He literally ran away as soon as he was finished speaking.

Addison quickly headed over to the nearest bathroom to wash off her face and make herself look as perfect as possible before being thrown back into the busy life of a surgeon. She figured that if she were to convince patients that she was the best, she needed to look the part… even if she was feeling her worst.

She raced through the halls, going from room to room. Her day had become so hectic that she had actually forgotten about how terrible her morning had been. Unfortunately, as soon as she realized that she had to go check on Helen Boyd, the day seemed to slow down once again. She approached her patient's room and simply stood outside the door pretending to read through her chart.

"Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Preston Burke walked past.

"Dr. Burke." she responded.

A few minutes later Dr. Burke walked by once again, giving Addison a rather strange look.

She looked the other way, pretending not to notice him.

"Dr. Shepherd." he spoke once again.

"Hey, I didn't see you there! How are you?" She was definitely acting a little bit 'off'.

"I'm fine…yourself…" he seemed perplexed, and rightfully so.

"Good. I'm doing good." she nodded her head.

"Have a nice afternoon."

"Yep, you too." She was a bit embarrassed, but tried not show it.

'_Okay On the count of 3 I'm going in.' _Addison told herself. "One…two…"

"Oh just check on your damn patient already!" Dr. Bailey shouted as she passed by.

"I was just reading her chart, Miranda! Can't a doctor read up on her patient in peace! …" she realized Dr. Bailey could care less what she was saying. '_Alright. You've reached the point where you've become pathetic. Addison Montgomery Shepherd does not even know the word pathetic, let alone allow herself to characterize herself with it. Go in the room._' She finally convinced herself.

"Mrs. Boyd…" she slowly entered, making sure her patient was not sleeping. "I'm just um, checking up on you... seeing how you're feeling. Dr. Stevens will be coming by shortly to run a few quick tests."

"I'm fine." Helen snapped back.

"Do you feel any pain, headache, nausea…" Addison continued to list a variety of different symptoms.

"Yes, but it's not because of the surgery."

"Mrs. Boyd, I've already told you how terribly sorry I am for what happened this morning, so I'm not going to say it again. If I could change anything, I would. Believe me. But I did everything that I could do, and you're just going to have to accept that." she paused, "However, I am still your doctor, and I do care about you whether or not you choose to believe that. So if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to get a nurse to page one of my interns." she said, using the wit that only she could pull off.


	4. Chapters 6&7

**Chapter 6**

Addison eventually returned home after what seemed like a never-ending shift. After her breakdown, she actually performed each of her remaining procedures brilliantly. It was as if she overcompensated for her terrible morning by being a bit of a perfectionist for the rest of the day. She figured this would make her feel a bit better about herself, and it did…but only for a short while.

Once in the trailer, Addison went into the bathroom and found that she could not stop staring at her own reflection. When she looked at herself she saw nothing but weakness, which she absolutely could not tolerate. She had spent her entire life being viewed as an image of strength. She was smart, competitive, confident….a borderline type-A personality. Now, however, she was constantly second guessing herself both in and out of the hospital.

It had been that way ever since she moved to Seattle. She thought that being with the man she loved would make up for leaving the city she adored. However, Derek still hardly took the time to notice her unless she was having some sort of a crisis, as that afternoon had proven. Yes, she had cheated on him. But how long would she have to suffer the consequences? She was tired of being "Satan" …tired of everyone around her denying that there are two sides to every story.

Addison eventually left the bathroom and walked about three feet over to the bedroom. Although she felt unhappiness due to a combination of things, her strongest sense of sadness was coming from her lack of strength. She did not want to be taken care of, or at least she would not let herself think that she did. She sat down on the edge of her bed and was instantly greeted by the 'McDog'.

"Don't look at me like that!" she obviously wasn't very serious as she scolded the dog. "I don't need your pity." However, she soon realized that the dog was not actually pitying her. He just wanted to go out for a walk.

Addison tried laying down for a bit after walking the dog. Yet as tired as she was, once her head hit the pillow she instantly felt incredibly anxious. Her problem with insomnia had become almost entirely psychological. She worried so much about not sleeping, that she could not get to sleep no matter how tired she was. Addison rose up from the bed, grabbing her pillows from behind her and viciously tossing them aside. Her frustration was immeasurable, as she had no idea what to do for herself.

The redhead reached the point where she was no longer willing to try going to sleep. She was much too frustrated, and decided to wait for Derek to come home. Within an hour or so, he stumbled through the door.

"Hey," he sat on the edge of the bed, "sorry I'm so late…heart transplant. Five hours in the OR and the guy didn't even make it."

"Five hours? Ouch. I'm sorry." Addison sighed. "Guess we're just bad luck today."

"Guess so." he turned around to face his wife, "how are you."

"I'm fine. I don't really know what came over me before."

"We should talk about it, don't you think?"

"Derek" she interrupted "Please. I said I'm fine. I don't want to talk, I don't want to even give mention to this afternoon. I appreciate everything you did for me, but I'm okay. I really am. There's nothing to talk about."

"Addison…"

"Don't 'Addison' me." She became aggravated. "Can't we just forget this ever happened?" she pleaded "Please."

"You're going to have to deal with this eventually, you know."

"There's nothing to deal with. I was too emotionally involved with the Boyd surgery, and when it didn't go well I just snapped. That's all."

"Okay." He replied, less than satisfied.

"Let's just forget this ever happened."

Derek knew that he could not force his wife to open up to him. But as much as he didn't like what Addison was saying, he was subconsciously relieved that he could go on pretending that everything was fine. After all, that is exactly how they had been living for the past few months, so why should this situation change anything?

"Forget what happened?" he chimed in.

"Thank you." she genuinely smiled at her husband, grateful that he would not target her weakness. "You look exhausted."She changed the subject immediately.

"Yeah." Derek rubbed his eyes for effect.

Addison leaned over and gently kissed her husband. "Goodnight, Derek." She debated saying 'I love you' but decided against it in fear that he wouldn't say it back.

**Chapter 7**

Derek kept his promise and continued to go on as if nothing had ever happened. Addison appreciated his efforts, but they did not actually benefit her. She still could not sleep well, and never actually resolved any of her problems. She had this lingering feeling of emptiness that would not disappear, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it. She hardly even knew what caused these feelings anymore, only that they were driving her mad.

In the office, Addison was still performing to the best of her ability. She increased her caffeine intake and managed to make it through each day. It wasn't easy, but she got by. Socially, however, she paid the price. With each passing day Addison had become increasingly bitter. First toward her interns, then her fellow doctors, and now her bedside manner was diminishing. She didn't realize that she was becoming this way…she just felt fatigued and never seemed to be in the mood to deal with other people.

Derek was actually able to avoid the wrath of his wife for the most part. She had started working as late as possible and leaving earlier than usual. One morning, however, she had gotten a bit of a late start and noticed Derek, the dog, and Meredith Grey taking a morning stroll.

"You could have just told me, you know." she intruded.

"Addison." Derek seemed surprised. "Don't be upset…"

"You didn't have to lie when I asked you where you were going every morning."

"We're not…we're just walking. Really. I'm doing it for the dog." Meredith made herself part of the conversation.

Addison completely avoided her. Yes, she had been trying to be friends with Meredith, but she was disappointed that her husband would lie about seeing her on more than one occasion.

"I was going to tell you, you know. Maybe if you had actually been here one morning this entire week…"

"Oh, don't you blame me for this, Derek. Don't you dare. You can't put everything on me all the time. It isn't _always_ my fault."

"What's this about?

She shook her head. "Nothing. I'm going to work now, Derek."

"Hold on." Derek left Meredith with the dog for a few moments to follow his wife.

"Don't just run away from me." he caught up, grabbing his wife's arm to stop her.

"Derek, stop. I don't care what you do or who do it with. I don't care, okay? Just let me go to work."

"Addie…"

"Just let me go."…and he did.

Addison was performing beautifully at work, her practice entirely fueled by anger. However, her follow-ups with patients were becoming increasingly difficult. She had very little patience, and practically refused to listen to any complaints.

"Addison." the redhead had just walked out of a patient's room when she heard Bailey calling for her.

"Walk with me." Addison did not even bother turning around.

"What's going on."

"Excuse me?" She read through a patient's chart.

"I've been getting complaints from your patients, that's what."

"Complaints?"

"Some of them are afraid of their own doctor. You know just as well as I do that that's completely unacceptable."

"You have no right to talk me that way, Miranda."

"And you have no right to treat me as if I'm suddenly inferior."

Addison paused, rubbing her temples. "I'm sorry…I am." she winced.

"Are you okay…?"

"Yeah, I just um…I'm kind of dizzy all of a sudden… " she tried gripping the wall.  
"Here, sit down." Bailey tried to sit her down, but she could not even get that far before Addison took a short breath and collapsed onto the ground.


	5. Chapter 8

**thanks for all the reviews, guys! you keep me going :)**

**Chapter 8**

After her collapse, Addison became the sole focus of Bailey's afternoon. She ran a few tests and set up an IV to hydrate and replenish Addison's electrolytes, but found nothing to be physically wrong with her superior. Bailey could not even attempt to make a diagnosis until her "patient" regained consciousness.

Fortunately, within a reasonable amount of time, the redhead slowly opened her eyes. "Did I miss my surgery?" she asked, her voice relatively hoarse.

Bailey could not help but smile. "You never quit, do you?"

"What's going on?" Addison took a moment to assess her surroundings before processing the she was actually in a hospital bed. "No, no, no..." she started getting up. "Not now. I have too much to do, there's no way-" she rose from the bed.

"Addison, you need to lay back down…" she noticed the redhead resisting. "You have an IV in, you know."

Addison looked at her left arm and rolled her eyes.

"Do you remember what happened before?" Bailey rarely used such a motherly tone, especially not with someone she worked with. But she figured that Addison probably wouldn't remember most of their conversation anyway.

"No." she responded dryly.

"You passed out in the middle of the hallway, that's what happened. Lucky I was there or you could have had someone like O'Malley trying to revive you."

Addison appreciated Bailey's attempt to make light of the situation, but couldn't bring herself to smile. "I passed out?" she asked.

"Yeah, but here's the thing. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Good." She seemed less than thrilled.

"But I think you know more than I do." Bailey prodded, "and you're not going anywhere until you tell me why I had to waste an hour sitting here waiting for you to wake up."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"Well then as your doctor I'm not letting you check out."

"You can't just keep me here. We have real patients you know."

"I'm well aware of how this hospital works, and as far as I'm concerned you are a real patient. I'll be running a few more blood tests and possibly setting up an MRI for later this afternoon…" Bailey did not actually plan on wasting her time with anymore tests, she just wanted Addison to fess up.

"Fine. You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you. I'm exhausted, Miranda. Absolutely exhausted. I haven't slept for more than two hours in months." she sighed, "Satisfied?"

Out of instinct, Bailey instantly started asking her to describe the different symptoms she had been experiencing.

"It isn't chronic fatigue syndrome or anything like that so please don't start diagnosing me. I know myself better than you do and I know I'm not sick. I just can't…I can't sleep anymore."

As soon as Derek heard the news of his wife, he darted through the hospital in desperate search for Bailey. Unfortunately, just as with any other patient, he simply had to wait until she had finished examining Addison.

"Dr. Shepherd." She approached Derek, who had been pacing around the waiting room.

"Where is she, what's wrong with her, how-" millions of thoughts were racing through his mind. If anything had happened to Addison he would never be able to forgive himself given the fact that his last words were those of anger.

"For the love of God, she's going to be fine. Sit down." she ordered. "Your wife, emphasis on the word _wife_, is suffering from exhaustion."

"What? How do you know that? You can't just diagnose exhaustion."

"I know because she told me." She sounded a bit frustrated.

"So she's overtired…?"

"No, Dr. Shepherd she is not just overtired. She is _exhausted_. The woman hasn't slept in months. How the hell you share a bed with her and don't even notice that she doesn't sleep is beyond me… but she has exhausted herself to the point where her body won't function anymore…to the point where she needs to be hospitalized."

Derek was instantly overcome by a sense of guilt. "Can I see her?"

"Yes, but we had to sedate her because she was still too anxious to fall asleep on her own."

"You already sedated her?"

"Relax. I administered a mild sedative. I just needed to calm her nerves, not knock her out. She should still be conscious."

"Thank you." Derek instantly rose from his seat, placing his hand on Bailey's right shoulder. "Seriously, thank you."

Derek slowly entered his wife's room. He could not tell at first glance if she was awake or not. Regardless, he approached her bedside and gently brushed two fingers across the side of her face.

Addison opened her eyes in response. "Hey…" she spoke softly.

"Hey. You gave me quite a scare today." He was not laying guilt on her, just saying how he felt for a change.

"Yeah, I just…I'm so tired, Derek."

"I know." he paused "Just close your eyes and get some rest."

"I'm sorry about before. You can walk with Meredith if you want to…"

"Shh, we don't need to talk about this now. Just close your eyes, Addie. Get some sleep." He lightly kissed her forehead, allowing his wife to finally get the rest she had so desperately needed.


	6. Chapters 9&10

thanks again for the feedback :)

**Chapter 9**

Derek stayed by his wife for as long as his beeper would allow. He was still a working surgeon, however, and had plenty of patients relying on him. Addison would understand, and she would likely be out for the rest of the day and through the night. Nonetheless, he felt obligated to stay by her side.

"Is she okay?" Derek instantly recognized Meredith's voice.

"She will be." He responded, not wanting to give away too many details. He knew that rumors would soon be spreading through the hospital.

"Good…that's good…" it was obvious that Meredith felt awkward. "I'm sorry about all of this, Derek."

"It's not your fault."

"Oh, it is."

"I said it isn't your fault, Meredith." His voice was stern. "It's mine."

"Well I just wanted to let you know that I'm done. Really. You don't owe me any favors, and you don't need to pity me. Do I like that you chose Addison over me? Of course not. But I don't hate you for it…"

"Thank you." He was in no mood for this.

"But…" she began, "If you _are _choosing her over me, at least make it worth it."

"Excuse me?"

"If you're going to be with her, then be with her. I can't keep on wondering whether or not you're going to come running back because things don't go well with your wife. Be her husband, or don't be with her at all." Meredith was pretty serious at this point.

"Meredith…she's my wife."

"I know." She smiled. Not a genuine smile, it was a bit more pitiful than that.

Derek retreated back to Addison's room not long after his conversation with Meredith. As soon as he walked in he actually saw his wife for the first time. She seemed to be sleeping so peacefully, but he knew how much was going on underneath the surface. It was more than she could handle and had slowly been tearing her apart…something he would have noticed if he had bothered taking the time to look.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?" Dr. Bailey entered.

"I need to stay with her."

"She's not waking up for a while, and you have a craniotomy scheduled for tomorrow morning. I know because I'm doing it with you."

"I've done that surgery a million times…"

"I don't really care. Go home. We don't need two Shepherds on leave because they decided not to sleep anymore."

Derek shrugged. "Okay. Will you be here for a while?"

"On call all night….but this is nothing serious, you know that."

"I know. Thanks." He basically avoided any conversation and headed out of the room.

**Chapter 10**

The following morning, Derek went into work an half hour early so that he could spend a bit of time with his wife. She was still asleep, which he figured was a good sign. He eventually went on to perform the craniotomy he had scheduled, and everything went well. His patient survived and would likely go on to lead a relatively normal life.

However, just a few minutes out of surgery and Derek was instantly confronted by George. "Uh, Dr. Shepherd. There's a bit of a situation going on with um Ad- with your wife."

"You've seen her…?" Derek was surprised, knowing that George would not typically be one to visit Addison.

"Bailey had me checking up on her. I won't tell anyone, but um, just come with me." George basically pulled his superior over and brought him to Addison's room. "She's all yours."

Derek, who was now extremely confused, walked into his wife's hospital room. But when he looked over at her bed, she wasn't there…. He instantly noticed her standing by the bathroom and putting her earrings back on.

"You removed your own IV?" For some reason, this was the first thought that came into Derek's mind.

Addison turned around, surprised to see her husband. "I am a doctor, you know. Removing an IV isn't all that complex."

Derek wondered where the sensitive, 'I'm just so tired', woman from yesterday had disappeared to. "Addie, what are you doing."

"I'm going to work, Derek. I just needed to catch up on a little bit of sleep and now I feel fine. I'm going back to work."

"You don't recover in one night, you know that just as well as I do…" he tried to be patient with her.

"I don't need to recover. I'm not sick."

"Stop being so stubborn. The chief isn't going to let you work today anyway."

"I am NOT on medical leave, Derek! I said I'm fine! I'm not sick, I'm FINE."

"You're far from 'fine'. Get back in bed."

If there was one thing that Addison would not tolerate, it was taking orders from her husband. "So what, you care all of a sudden? Because I'm 'sick' suddenly I'm important? You could care less about me when I was healthy. In fact, you didn't notice me at all."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I gave up EVERYTHING for you, Derek. Everything. Why? Because I thought you were all I needed to be happy." She walked away from her husband. "But you never even gave me the time of day. Never said I love you. Not even once."

"Addison…"

"So no, Derek. You can't just come in here and tell me how I'm feeling and what I can and cannot do."

Derek took a long breath. "Alright. Listen up because I'm only going to say ths once. You can scream in my face all you want. I know I deserve it. But what I also know is that we can't solve anything until you get better. And I say 'better' because you honestly couldn't be doing much worse than you are right now. You are _not _okay." Derek finally lost his temper. "I mean, how can you even say that! _You passed out in the middle of the hospital!_" he took a moment to catch his breath, "do you realize that could have happened in the OR? Or in the delivery room? There could have been serious consequences. You are _not okay_, Addison, and you _will_ get back in bed." and with that, he stormed out of her room. He didn't care if she hated him, he just wanted her to get better. He _needed _her to get better.


	7. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Although Derek attempted to carry on after his fight with Addison, he could not stop thinking about her. This was not exactly the type of feeling he was used to, and he wasn't even sure how to handle it. As much as he tried to stay angry with this wife (and he really did try), he still wound up outside of her door within about an hour. He didn't want to apologize to her, but didn't want to stay angry. As soon as he entered her room, however, his instincts kicked in.

To his surprise, Addison was actually back in bed. But what caught his attention were the few tears which were trailing down her cheeks. Derek kneeled down next to the bed, not saying a word.

"I just wanted to prove you wrong, Derek." Her words were shaky.

"What?"

"Before, when you were in here saying how I wasn't okay…how I needed to get back in bed or I wouldn't be able to function. I was furious. I don't even know why, but I just wanted to prove you wrong. So I put on my lab coat, pinned my hair back…I was all set." she took a moment to gather her thoughts. "…but before I could even get to the door I started feeling dizzy. So dizzy that I couldn't even get out of the room. I thought I was going to faint again."

"Did you?" Derek was geminately concerned.

"No-" her voice cracked, as a few fresh tears escaped.

Derek sighed, focusing on the floor. He knew that for Addison, admitting her own weaknesses was hurting her more than anything else.

"I'm not…" Addison was not about to break down again, but she could not cover up her tears. "I'm not okay." She whispered, desperately attempting to dry her own tears. "I'm not…"

Derek wiped her tears with his thumb and forefinger, "No." he spoke softly, "But you will be." He tried to reassure his wife. "Here, come on." He gently slid Addison over to make room for himself on the bed, holding her close. "You just need to let yourself heal, that's all."

Addison's tears were soothed within a few minutes, but she still clung to her husband, taking comfort in the fact that for the first time in a while she did not feel completely alone.

"I love you." Derek whispered.

The two remained intertwined on the twin hospital bed for quite some time. After a while Derek truly believed that Addison had fallen asleep, and so he proceeded to carefully get off the bed.

"Wait." she sounded a bit agitated. "Can you get Bailey?"

"Why? What's wrong?" Derek couldn't imagine why Addison would want to see a doctor at this point.

"I need something for my nerves…" she seemed to be a bit embarrassed.

"Are you sure? You seem pretty relaxed."

"Derek, please."

"Okay." he nodded. "I'll get her." Derek said, heading out of the room. He wandered around aimlessly for a while until he could find Dr. Bailey. He didn't want to page her because this was far from an emergency, but he did want Addison to get to sleep soon.

"Let me guess," Bailey spotted Derek peaking into one of her patient's rooms. "…you're looking for me."

"Dr. Bailey." Derek attempted to sound professional.

"What does she need?" By 'she' Bailey was obviously referring to Addison.

"Apparently she wants the sedative you gave her yesterday."

"Okay." The idea didn't seem to phase Bailey very much. "I'll go over there in a little while."

"Do you think it's a good idea to sedate her again? I mean, she shouldn't be relying on this stuff."

"Nope." Bailey wasn't exactly paying attention to Derek as she flipped through another patient's chart. "But for now we can't afford another sleepless night. So I'm going to keep administering a sedative, but I'll 'water it down' a bit each night until she's just taking in extra fluids." she put the chart down. "Then we'll take her off of everything completely."

Derek was impressed with how much effort his coworker seemed to be putting into his wife's case. "Good plan…" he responded.

"I thought so." she paused, "Anything else?"

"I could take her on as my patient you know…" he commented.

"Oh, hell no."

"What? I can take care of her."

"You just listen to everything she tells you without actually listening to her. Once she's out of here, she's all yours. But for now Addison is my patient."

Derek wondered why it seemed as if everyone knew more about his relationship with his wife than he did. "Alright, be that way." he joked. "Wait, one more thing."

Bailey rolled her eyes.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you care so much? I mean, I know you two are friendly but you've got your hands full already…why aren't you just passing her off to an intern?"

"One, I hate my interns." She blatantly stated, though there was hardly any truth to the matter. "Two, Addison _is _my friend. I don't have many of those because I never seem to leave this place. I've got to value the little I've got. And three, you saved my husband. So even though this isn't brain surgery, I think we're even."

"Oh-"

"Nuh uh, no more questions. I'm walking away."


	8. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The next few days progressed rather uneventfully. Addison was getting the sleep she needed, and slowly getting back to herself. Bailey had her on a strict schedule, where she could only sleep during certain hours. Though the redhead was getting used to the routine, she was also becoming quite bored.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Shepherd…" George O'Malley entered the room, much to Addison's surprise.

"O'Malley?"

"How are you feeling today?" It sounded as if he had rehearsed his lines.

"I'm okay…" She gave him the 'look' that he had actually grown to fear.

"Dr. Bailey sent me. I just have to ask a few questions…it should only take a few minutes."  
Addison smiled. "George, relax. I know what you're doing."

"Um, are you experiencing any nausea?"

"No."

"Dizziness?"

"No."

"Headache?"

"Here, just me the file."

"I can't…this is routine procedure, I-"

"George, I won't tell Bailey." George handed over Addison's file, where she quickly checked off any symptoms she had been experiencing within a matter of seconds. "There you go." she handed the file back to George.

"Oh, okay. Thanks. I just…" George felt incredibly uncomfortable as took out a stethoscope. "Really quickly?"  
Addison actually started laughing at this point. There was absolutely no need to check her heart and she knew that. Bailey was just trying to have some fun, and when you're a surgeon, putting your interns in awkward situations seems to be the way to go. "Okay. Go ahead."  
"Um…" He approached his superior. "I'm just gonna…"

"I know what you're doing. It's not a big deal." Her laughter continued for a bit longer. She was amazed at how George could be stuck in an OR in which a patient's heart went on fire, and yet he couldn't even check her heartbeat.

George gently slid the stethoscope under the top of Addison's hospital gown. He turned red immediately, but tried to carry on. "Sorry, I'm sorry…"

"We're both doctors, O'Malley. It's okay." She coaxed, starting to feel sorry for the young intern.

"Okay, there. All done. You're heart…it's really good. Great actually. Bailey will be pleased. Okay. Bye." George pretty much ran out of the room within a matter of seconds, leaving Addison incredibly amused.

About a half hour later, there was a light knock on Addison's door. "Come in." she responded, not bothering to look up from her book of crossword puzzles that Derek had brought her the previous night.

"Hi, Dr. Shepherd…"

The redhead looked up to see Izzie Stevens standing near the door frame.

"Come in…" she repeated, wondering what Bailey was up to this time.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay…" she felt as if she were reliving her experience with George.

"Sorry I haven't come by, I just um…I've been busy with…you know." Izzie spoke softly, leading Addison to believe that maybe Bailey hadn't sent her.

"I understand. I wouldn't have expected you to visit anyway. I'm not fatally ill." Her voice was professional, which was not actually how she had wanted to sound

"I know." she paused, "Are you feeling any better? It's been almost a week now, right?"

"6 days, but who's counting?" she made a lame attempt at a joke, "But yes, I'm feeling better by the day…hoping to get back to work soon."  
Izzie nodded, taking a seat next to her superior's bedside. "What'd you to do George earlier? He's been like, freaked out all day." She started getting a bit more comfortable.

Addison rolled her eyes. "He used a stethoscope on my collar bone." Izzie laughed. "I really scare him, don't I?"

"No, you don't…no. Okay maybe a little. Yeah."

"Do I scare you?"

"No." She responded rather seriously.

"Good."

There were a few awkward moments of silence before Izzie continued. " I'm scrubbing inon a pretty complex surgery today…" she began. "The patient's um… a week and a half old. He's suffering from HLHS…"

"Wow." Addison was actually a bit disappointed to hear about the surgeries she could be performing. "Congratulations Stevens. Well earned."  
"Thanks. I'm pretty excited about it…"

"But you're ridiculously nervous."

"Yeah." Izzie let out a small sigh of relief.

"That's normal."

"It's just that I've never done this before, and I kind of made it seem like I know everything already…"

Addison cracked a smile, seeing hints of herself in the young blonde. "So what, you want me to give you some hints?"

"Well, no. I mean…maybe." Izzie avoided all eye contact.

"Stevens, you're the best I've seen in a while. You've got a knack for neonatal. Trust your instinct, you know what to do. You've studied this in school a hundred times over. Go with your gut."

"Thank you, really. I appreciate it but-"

"No 'buts'. A good surgeon never second guesses herself. You've got this." she smiled, actually feeling quite proud of the intern.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Surgery ran over yet again…" Derek walked in. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone else would be in here."

"Thank you." Addison responded sarcastically.

"Oh, no. I was just leaving." Izzie stood up, heading toward the door.

"Let me know how everything goes, Stevens."

"I will. Thank you." The blonde left the room.

Derek plopped down next to his wife's bed. "Someone's making friends." He teased.

"Shut up. We all have different ways of bonding with interns. I encourage them, you sleep with them..."

"Ouch."

"Derek, I need to get out of this hospital."

"It's been six days…"

"I'm on a sleep schedule, I do crossword puzzles, and I bond with interns. This isn't natural."

Derek laughed, "It took Mariah Carey months to recover."

"Don't you ever compare me to Mariah Carey." She glared. "I'm clearly above her." she joked. "I'm not saying that I need to go to back to work right away. I know I'm in no condition for that yet. But I think I can get some rest at home…"

"You want to spend your days in the trailer?"

Addison shrugged. "It beats being here. I feel useless, Derek." Her voice became a bit more serious. "Just laying around while I could be bringing lives into the world, performing surgeries…I can't just lay here."

"I know." he sighed, " I'll talk to Bailey, but we never figured out what got you to this point. What if this just happens again?" he questioned.

"You being here every single day, practically ever hour…that solved half the problem right there. I still miss New York and I still feel out of place, but everything will be solved in time. I think I'll be able to recover…." she tried to make sense of her words. "I think I'll be able to go to sleep…if you just promise that you'll be there when I wake up."


	9. Chapter 13

Hey, sorry about the wait hah. Here's the next update, I've had a lot going on but hopefully I'll more soon. Thanks for being patient with me!

**Chapter 13**

"Dr. Bailey!" Derek called out, just having left his wife's room.

"Addison's fine. Leave me alone." She responded.

"That's actually what I was coming to talk to you about." he paused, flashing a charming smile. "She wants to get out of here."

"Does she now…" Bailey didn't seem interested in what Derek had to say.

"Yes, Dr. Bailey. She does." He was a bit frustrated.

"Okay. Well, she's got to prove that she can sleep without being hooked up to a damn IV."

"I thought you stopped sedating her already."

"I did, but it doesn't matter. At this point I'm basically giving her water, but she 'can't sleep without it.'" Bailey shook her head.

"Does she know she's receiving a placebo?"

"I told her. She doesn't believe me." Bailey started walking away. "Sure I care enough to lie about sedatives."

"And you never told me this because…?"

"Because it's not something she's proud of."

Derek brushed off the comment. "If she's willing to sleep without anything tonight, then will you release her?"

"I could probably arrange that." Bailey turned around, leaving her superior in the middle of the hall.

Derek didn't even bother responding to his co-worker. He was just surprised that Addison still could not sleep unless she was 'sedated'.

"Hey…" he walked back into his wife's room.

"Any luck?" Addison seemed hopeful.

"Yeah. Seems like Bailey's willing to release you tomorrow."

"Oh, thank God. You know, I'm actually starting to miss the trailer."  
"Well, you're going to need to sleep on your own tonight." His eyes shifted toward the IV bag which was most likely filled with useless fluids.

"Oh, that? I don't need that..." she defended herself.

"I didn't think so. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Sure…"

Daylight soon faded into darkness, and Derek stopped by Addison's room to say goodnight before heading home.

"Derek?" She sounded a bit anxious.

"Hey, I thought you'd be sleeping already."

"I can't sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't." She spoke quickly.

"Okay, calm down. Have you even tried?"

"Of course I've tried! I just…I think I need Bailey. I don't need to leave tomorrow. I just need something to help me sleep."

"Addison, you've been taking in extra fluids. Bailey hasn't even been giving you anything that would put you to sleep." The desperation in his wife's voice was beginning to worry him.

"Well whatever it is, it helps me."

"I'm not getting Bailey. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep on your own, okay?"

"Derek-"

"First…" he interrupted, "We need to slow down your heart rate. I can practically hear it from over here…" He kneeled next to her bed, and not wanting to hook his wife up to a monitor, he gently placed his palm over her heart. "Okay, now just take slow deep breaths for me."

Addison obliged, trying to soothe her nerves naturally. But having such an intimate moment with her husband was beginning to give her a few different ideas of what she could get out of the evening…ideas other than sleep.

"Just breathe…" he continued, noticing that her heart rate was in fact beginning to slow to a more normal pace.

Addison looked her husband in the eye, her breath becoming short once again. However, anxiety was not triggering this reaction. Derek instantly noticed the look in her eyes, and leaned in to kiss her…first softly, and then again with much more passion. Without even bothering to separate from his wife, Derek slid onto the bed, his hands trailing down her body.

"Derek-" She managed to get a word out. "Wait. We can't." She protested.

"Why not?"

"We're in the hospital…Bailey could walk in-"

"She's got more important patients." He stopped himself. "No offense." He began kissing the nape of her neck, causing Addison to let out a short gasp. It had been a while since she had felt this way.

"I'm on a sleep schedule, you know." She teased.

"Screw your schedule." Derek leaned in, his passion increasing by the second.

About an hour later, Addison lay wrapped up in her husband's embrace. There were a few moments of silence, and Derek actually thought that his wife may have fallen asleep. "We just had sex in my hospital bed." …until she decided to say that.

"Oh, we did." He responded, quite pleased with himself.

"We're dirty people."

"Not that dirty. I mean, we've done it before." he smirked.

"Not in Seattle." She laughed a bit.

"True."

"Some really sick person could have died in this bed. And we just had sex in it."

Derek laughed, gently feeling for Addison's heartbeat which had returned to a normal pace. "It worked didn't it?"

"Yeah…" she yawned, leaning in closer. "I guess it did." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Goodnight Derek."

"Goodnight."


	10. Chapter 14

-1**Hey guys! Thanks for all the feedback, I really appreciate it. Anyway, here's chapter 14. I think I may be ending this fic at 15 chapters so…we're almost done! **

**Chapter 14**

It was about 6:00 a.m. when Meredith was sent to check on Addison. Though she protested, Bailey didn't give her much of a choice in the matter. The intern planned on making sure that her superior was still breathing, and then getting out of there. However, her plans changed as soon as she opened the door to see her 'patient' and her shirtless McDreamy all snuggled up.

"Woah!" She didn't mean to shout. It was more of an impulse reaction. "Um, okay…sorry." She turned around, her back facing the couple "Addison, are you alive? That's all I need to know."

"Meredith!" Derek practically jumped out of the bed, trying to get his shirt on.

"I'm alive..." Addison felt just as awkward as Meredith at this point.

"Okay then. Goodbye."

"I'm sorry…" Derek began. Although Meredith claimed that she wanted him and Addison to be together, he knew that seeing them so close was tearing her apart.

"Don't." She stopped him. "This is what I wanted."

"Meredith…" he didn't actually know what to say to her, and hoped that she would interrupt him.

"Just tell me it's over. I need to hear it from you." she paused, "Please."

Derek waited a few moments before looking Meredith deep in the eye. "It's over." he spoke softly.

"Okay, good." She whirled around, leaving the room.

Addison could see that her husband was upset. "You can still be her friend. I never said-"

"I don't want her getting the wrong idea. She needs to know that its over. I chose you." He ran a few fingers through his hair, trying to make himself look decent. "I'll see you at home." He smiled, though it was obvious that he was a bit upset over Meredith.

"Okay." she responded, "Derek.."

"Yep…" He turned around.

"Thank you."

Within a few hours, Addison was out of bed and ready to leave Seattle Grace. She hadn't felt so energetic in a while, but still was not back at her full potential.

"Shame I couldn't keep you here longer. You're one of the easiest patients I've dealt with all year." Bailey appeared in the doorway.

Addison smiled, "Oh yes, I'm sure it was a pleasure." She added sarcastically.

"Well, you were kinda whiney." she teased, "But you slept okay last night?"

"Oh yeah."

Bailey rolled her eyes. "Nasty." she mumbled.

"I heard that."

Bailey shrugged, making her way out of the room. "Take care of yourself, Addison."

"I will." she smiled, "Miranda…thank you."

"I'll see you in a few days."

Addison finished packing up the last of her things, and was actually on her way out of the hospital when she noticed Meredith walking toward the closest elevator. The redhead caught up with the intern, though it was obvious that Meredith was trying to avoid her. Addison managed to get onto the elevator, just as the door was closing.

"I'm sorry." Addison pushed the 'stop' button.

"Why? You're his wife." It was clear that Meredith was disappointed.

"I know. It's not that. I'm just sorry that you had to fall in love with him." The intern didn't respond. "You can still visit…you can take your morning walks…I want you two to be friends."

"I don't need your pity."

"And you won't get it. You're young, you've got plenty of time to find yourself another 'McDreamy' with no strings attached." Addison pushed a few buttons, causing the elevator to start back up. "I'm just sorry that Derek and I both hurt you."

"Thank you." Meredith spoke softly, grateful that she could get out of the elevator soon.

"Hey Mer." Izzie greeted her friend.

"Shutup." Meredith briskly walked away.

Izzie rolled her eyes, getting into the elevator. "Seriously…"

"She can't go on hating me forever."

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd. Hi." The blonde hadn't even noticed her.

"Can she?"

"Meredith? Oh, of course she can. She's bitter, its part of her charm."

Addison shrugged, "And you?"

"I never hated you." she paused, "Strongly disliked at one point…"

"But you're past that?" Addison interrupted.

"Yeah."

Addison nodded, pleased that the 'satan' stamp was slowly being washed off her forehead. "Surgery went well yesterday, Stevens?" she changed the subject.

"Very well."

"Good."


	11. Chapter 15

**Hey! Thanks for all the feedback/support! You guys are wonderful J really! Anyway, here's the last chapter. I hope you all have enjoyed this fic as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I hope to come up with some new ideas for another story soon! Thanks again for all the feedback.**

**Chapter 15**

Derek looked forward to returning home after a fairly easy day at work. He was in a decent mood, which was likely because the previous night had been quite 'enjoyable' to say the least. He also gained a sense of closure with Meredith and finally felt as if he could truly be with his wife. Although he still had feelings for the intern, he no longer desired her. He would be her friend, but nothing more.

"It's nice not having to come home to an empty trailer." Derek sat down on the edge of the bed, looking over at Addison.

"I hope you realize that you just offended Doc." She looked down at the dog laying next to her.

"I think he'll get over it."

"I don't know about that, he looks pretty upset. You should apologize." She teased.

"I'm not talking to the dog."

"Ouch, I think he heard that." She patted Doc's head. "Did that mean doctor offend you? Don't listen to him. He's just bitter because he has to work and I don't." She spoke to the dog as if he were a young child.

"How bored _are _you?"

"Don't start with me, Derek."

"Well, you look better."

"Do I?" She was paying more attention to Doc than to her husband.

"I think last night helped quite a bit." His words made Addison looked away from the dog. "If only I had known it was so simple…" He kidded.

"Because you are just _that _desirable." She rolled her eyes.

Derek smiled. "I like this."

"What?"

"This." Once again, he decided not to be very specific. "You're getting back to yourself."

"I'm trying."

"I know." He bent over to take off his shoes. "You know what else?"

"Hmm?"

"You like the trailer." His words were playful.

"I do not!" She snapped.

"Yes you do. Don't even deny it, Addison. You like it. You like the trailer and you like living in the woods."

"Derek-"

"You know, if I were to bring another trout inside right now, I bet you would like that too… keep it as a pet even." He joked.

"Well aren't you just the comedian. I don't remember you being trying to be so funny in New York."

"So you like Seattle?"

"You're a terrible person, you know that?" Addison echoed Derek's exact words from only a couple of weeks earlier.

"I've heard rumors." He smirked, responding just as she had. "But come on, there must be some truth to what I'm saying."

"Okay, fine. Maybe I don't hate the trailer as much as I used to."

"See."

"I never said I liked it, Derek." Her tone was a bit defensive. "But it can be kind of nice at times. Our lives are so chaotic at work. It can be comforting to live somewhere so…"

"Peaceful?"

"Sure." She agreed, half-heartedly. "But-"

"You still miss New York." Derek finished her sentence for her.

"Everyday." She added sadly. "But there are a few reasons why I would never go back now."

Derek's eyes lit up. "And why is that?"

"One. I can't think of in New York who's even half as promising as Dr. Stevens." she paused, "Two…well, you're in Seattle." She could have gone on, saying how much she needed him, but those three words seemed to cover everything. "And three, I think you'd miss me if I left."

Derek moved closer to his wife, pushing the dog aside. "You think so?"

"No use denying it now." She smiled.

Derek took a moment to look at Addison. Fresh out of the hospital without a stitch of makeup and she was still absolutely beautiful. "I'm so sorry I hurt you." He spoke softly.

Addison shook her head. "It's okay, Derek. It's okay. I deserved some of it. Not all, but some." she hesitated, "I just wish I hadn't hurt you first." She was strong enough to take responsibility for her actions.

"Can we start over?"

She smiled, grateful that her husband would say such a thing, but aware that it was unrealistic. "No, but we can move on."

"Okay." He brushed a few stray hairs out of her face. "It's getting late. You should get to bed."

"Yeah…"

Derek could still sense a bit of anxiety in her voice. Just because she slept for one night didn't mean that she was healed. He laid down next to her, tracing small circles on her back. "Just relax." He told her. "I'm not going anywhere."

…and he didn't. In fact, he realized that he never wanted to be apart from her again. Sure he had been angry that Addison cheated on him. Who wouldn't be? But if he had just given her the chance to explain he may have discovered that everything she did was for him in one way or another. All she wanted was a bit of attention and love from her husband. Is that too much to ask for? Of course not. She never loved Mark, and Derek realized this now. He was finally able to accept that there are two sides to every story. Every tragedy, every comedy, every drama…and most importantly, every romance.


End file.
